ME~

sometimes, lonely isnt just wat u feel but its actually a fact.

the world isnt really a place for me to live.
so ya i would rather just leave myself alone and no one by the side.
i shouldnt even be here in the first place.

will update more about today tmr. gonna study chi and hopefully it is able to erase all the stupid thoughts and such.

0 comment(s) / 19:43

here again._. but sch these days are rather boring :O
was almost late today:X bell rang when i was about to reach the gate.
all thanks to all the stupid buses that came late or too full D:
cant rely on 17. zzz
anyway can late a little since it was raining. and these days de weather is so unpredictable.

bio. watched some video about this woman giving birth.
the baby damn kelian. didnt really watch cos it was too digusting.
but it makes me realise that life is really a miracle.
cos its wonderful to be able to get out of the mother's uterus despite of all the trauma.
its wonderful to be able to see the wonders of the world.
yet im still here complaining about life. guess i shouldnt be doing that anymore:X

SEL was like talking sth about to do ur best.
it makes me reflect of all my actions in the past.
did my best? im afraid i didnt.
it makes me recall of the days as a SL. zzz im gonna like repeat againT.T
it makes me realise wat a failure im. totally a failure.
i didnt even do my best. i guess i will regret this for the whole life.
suddenly feel the urge to cry:x but i was in sch._.
if time would rewind back, i would probably try my best and really do my best.
but i can do nothing. the only thing i can comfort myself is all these are already over. no use crying over a spill milk:X
but today when i saw the juniors and the standard of their playing, i guess all these was all my fault, but i cant do anything to help them.
人生中的无奈是无可奈何的.

i hope i wont be here tmr and start to revise for chi test tmr:D

0 comment(s) / 19:58

ohmy dear me im not supposed to be hereT.T
nvm its only first day of sch, i guess i can still slack ABIT?
zzz stop procrastinating wont you? T.T

so, one two buckle my shoe.
three four take out your books.
five six start studying!!

ohdear nothing seems to get myself into the study moodT.T
i hope the spammage of tests nxt week onwards will help me then :P
term 3 is a disaster, for i can conclude this D:

im so busy these few days.
lets update the stuff and tests i haveT.T and its only first day of sch.

tmr 29/6: visit juniors:D
thurs 1/7: chi test D: ( idk yanyu wat[: )
fri 2/7: eng paper 2 CT
tues 6/7: SS CT chapt 6 sec3->deterrence and diplomacy(can die)
date with the few to do sth meaningful:D
thur 8/7: amaths revision quiz chapt 1 and 21
fri 9/7: some CT after sch
back to ynps for anniversary
celebration some relative bdae
tues 13/7: hist essay CT chapt 4 and 6

black thurs are really black thursT.T
longest day in sch, all the periods align until very sucky, amaths revision quiz every week, chi test every alternative week.
so thats why term 3 sux D:

0 comment(s) / 12:41

i hope u know! all ur actions are making me feel sad and disappointed in you. wat happened? cant u rmb the past, with me and no outsiders? u are neglecting me. so pls just spare a thought for me? i wont force u to return to the past but just treat me normally, like in the past. dun u treat me as a fren anymore?):
real life? i know im alone, im lonely, with no one by my side. im fine with it but i just hate the facts, the way u treat me.

sch is reopening real soon.
which means is the start of mugging and cupping for Os.
wanted to start during jun hol, but it failed.
this time only success and no failure. cos i know wat i want and im gonna work hard for it:D
which just means this blog will be even more dead than now.
so no nid to visit so often:D cos u should be studying too:D
probably only post when theres time, which is pretty little._.

how i wish normal timestable would be similar as alps.
early dismissal, only 4 periods a day:D im fine with the one hr part:D
50+ more days to prelims D: gonna study hard:D

0 comment(s) / 12:47

ohman, alps is starting tmrT.T
no diff from sch reopening.
which means gonna have to cut down the time spend on com till hols is overT.T

hahaha alps still can slack a little:D to get myself used to the new life of books.
till hols is over. then no blogging, no mapling, no audi-ing.
probably only 20min of facebook and hotel city:D wouldnt kill:D

but im tired. i dun like to study. oh pls who will?
i wanna get over and done with this stupid o lvl.
i swear that i would stop studying once the situation allows.
im not the studious typeT.T im only forcing myself to do watever i dun like.
but wat can i do? nothing just continuing to force myselfT.T
thats why i prefer poly to JC. plus i get to study wat i like, which is so much more better:D
no sense of getting good results yet knowing nothing about the world. cos thats me D:

but still have to study hard for this o lvl.
another 5 mths to go. wat is this 5mths compared to the 3plus yrs in ahs?
so i will have to work harder and prove to myself, i aint a stupid!

i hope the teachers will spam us with hwk and tests, to get my mind off from slacking.
and to get myself into the mood of studying and studying.
i should really get a tuition. but now its too late.
so down this road, i gonna have to walk by myself!
i shall spam myself with assessment books, prac papers and textbook:D

GO GO! TELL YOURSELF THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE:D cos i can get to wat i am today, i can continue this till o lvl! rmb rmb, nobody is a stupid:D its the hardworking effort that has gotten me till today! just less than 5mths till the day of freedom! i can do it[:

yup dajia should go study alr:D
today is a nice rehearsal for me:D gonna mug damn hard for tmr bio test!:D
AND ANYONE WANTS TO STUDY WITH ME? i wanna a grp study:D

0 comment(s) / 13:47

BATCH OUTING TO WILDWILDWET 15/06♥
with guihui xueyi junyang sam:D

met xy on bus 225:D met gh at bedok station:D
all of us were late:D wat telepathy:D
hahah halfway called sam.
we all thought he reached alr or at least soon.
but then hes only at bedok O.O
then we decided to wait for him at tenah merah station and get onto his train:D
then super funny. boarded the nxt train, but he hvnt reached yet._.
which means we boarded the wrong train O.O
okay we were kind. got down on simei to wait for his train again:D
hiya if wrong train again still got tampines ma:D
but we were pro:D boarded the right train this time:D biggest joke of the day._.

then took 21 to downtown east. met jy there:D
xy gh dun wanna eat. so we went into www to play:D
yay morning not much people so damn empty:D
went to take some slide thingy:D the one which large float and all of us can sit on it:D
too bad the guys always couldnt get the back seat:D me and xy did:D
idk wheres de camera. owwD:

went play at the playground, some swimming pool, wave pool and all the slides:D
yay wave pool de funnest:D
but then cos me and xy cant swim. then go deep side must sit on the floatT.T
always kena the lifeguard whistle, cos we keep grabbing onto the string or sth.
always drifted apartT.T hahha the wave pro.
but then also cant swim, or get down. the guys and gh to the rescuse:D
playground damn lame leh.
keep snatching the slides with the kids. i mean the guysO.O
and that big bucket of water. awww damn pain leh.
jy climbed the slides without seeing the sign 'no climbing' ._.
that swimming pool thingy:D the wave thing damn fun:D
and there was some kid-ish water works:D damn fail:D
went to that big float thingy lots of time. cos wanna take photo but always kinda fail:D
finally the last one looks okay:D
but gh look like some weird and i think sam kinda act cute._.
decided to donate to HO room:D but i tink the juniors will throw away:X

went out www at arnd 3? idk theres no clockT.T
nobody brought shampoo or watever.
stink with chlorine:X and we took a long time:D
im sure the guys were dead waiting for us:D ohwell:D
went to eat chicken rice after that. im damn hungryT.T
slack at ehub awhile. but everyone damn dead.
hahha the guys went off awhile for their class bbq:D
then we went home after buying curry puff at oldchangkee:D

hahha dead after reached home.
slept for 20min. wanna sleep for 30min but was woken upT.T
TAN LINES D: and im red and darkT.T
but i dun get it why. cos there was no sun so shouldnt be so serious de.
its gonna be tough to turn white againT.T
lucky the rain died down after we reached www:D so it wasnt disrupted:D

yay batch outing was superb and fun:D
nxt time again:D hopefully nxt time more ppl can go:D
but i dun wanna plan anymore. waste my smsT.T
sian no more outing till alps start. sianT.T

ohyea most probably this is the last post till prelims and o lvl:D
its time to study real hard:D

0 comment(s) / 12:44

its boring staying at homeT.T
facing the walls, the tv, com, hwk. no life leh.
ANYONE WANNA GO WINDOW SHOPPING WITH ME?
although im broke;D theres sth called window shopping;D

ytd ergao outing to kbox;D
me guihui jiahuan sokchin jinyan dexter michelle songshuang yuke siewchen:D
nevertheless it was fun^^ cos its a ergao outing.
and cos ergao rawks forever though im not a member of ergao anymore and joining the ancient club soonT.T

met gh at bedok mrt first:D
ohmy i thought i was pretty late myself cos its raining and nid to go library first.
but nvm theres always someone who will be later than me anyway:P
still gh wasnt that late;D late by that little bit.
and we reached pasir ris 1 min earlier;D if not must treat drinks omgT.T
not bad gh great improvement leh:D nxt time maybe u can be earlier than me~

lunch-ed at white sands kcf with gh sc and michelle.
didnt know michelle going for lunch at first O.o but she also nvr eat._.
then went walked arnd plus arcaded a little to wait for the others;D
and yay dajia arrived. off we go to ehub and kbox;D

ooo kbox alot of ppl;D managed to get a room;D
omg its damn big leh. i mean like 10 ppl also dun nid so big ma;D we are all tiny ppl._.
its even bigger than my room leh. hahah
started singing. okay nobody wanna sing.
i think everyone come kbox also dun wanna sing._.
started random-ly with me and jh first is it? cant rmb.
ohmygod my singing sux someone helpT.T
suxer all the juniors dun wanna sing and keep pushing the mike to us._.
but then started to get more fun;D
hahaha eat drink talk like some stupid shout in the mike blah;D
gh keep sabo-ing meT.T kill her:D

dex ss yk went off first.
okay they went off while me and gh went toilet._. meanieT.T
then kinda tired. started playing zhongjimima and losers gonna sing:D
omg siewchen so mafan most songs dunno how to sing or nvr hear before. poor jinyan:D sang two times;D
i guess me and gh were the pro ones who didnt lose;D
still sabo to sing anw;D
took pic before we left. but sucha failure._.
went home with gh and jh taking 17;D

yay ergao outing was so fun although kinda fail._.
still i enjoyed hanging out with the juniors and that extra 1 senior;D jkjk~
up nxt batch outing♥
sure damn fun going www. but really hopes nothing happens._.

1more week before alps start, or should i say sch reopen? T.T
will enjoy my last week of hol before the torture of Os starts.
i guess this blog will be super dead after sch reopen. but anw its dead now:D

0 comment(s) / 19:54

totally rotting at homeT.T
mon tues stayed at home. everyday stayed at home. damn boring lehT.T

yup wed phys SPA;D
still quite okay. although the qn abit weird, totally tio stunned at first.
ohshit la i damn blind leh.
didnt see the chopstick like in front of me._.
okay then keep thinking use wat to take something out, in the end used forceps.
but then i damn dumb leh. chopstick right in front of me.
hopefully that wont affect my marks;D my procedure still quite okay:D

zzz then was trap in the hall for 20min._.
bloody hell damn hot. i hate the fans. they should just on the aircon;D
well too bad. we are the first batch. zzz and ya the lab was like sauna too._.
went home after that;D

thurs some eng paper 2 lecture by lily koh;D
not bad learn quite alot of stuff there.
i hope nxt compre can improve?
oh and lily koh and some other guys damn funny^^
which makes the lecture more funny;D
went home after that. so no life, i know:p

today went out with jh gh;DD
hahah shall not mention too much about it;D
but fun was never ending once together:DDD
and ___ not bad ah;D of cos thanks to me for using my creativity;D

zzz this week damn no life. keep staying at home other than today and going to sch for reasons.
nvm nxt week shall go out more;D although im brokeT.T
and yay half done with hwk;D
most likely i can finish nxt week;D
and after i come back from malaysia de third week, i can start my revision alr;D
although idk whether this time i hv the motivation to start revision.
i hope i can;D cos its time to study real hard;D
and this hols is great;D at least i dun hv to go sch for cca and stuff;D
but i really miss ccaT.T
shall go visit the juniors sometime. since the sec2s are back alr;DD
okay shall go play maple alr;D hope todays 2x exp training will be a success;DD